Monthly Archive July 2016

Expectation of yourself

How high is your expectation of your self?

If you have a very high expectation you cant react it you will always try but you may feel like a failure or it will make you unhappy. Or you just act below this expectation and never try because the line is so high you don’t see it. If you have low expectation of yourself you don’t move forward.

For example; If you compete in the hurdles and they are too low you don’t need to try at all and you pass it without knowing. If the hurdles are the correct height then you are motivated to try. Sometimes you fail but it is still ok. Sometimes you win and past with good feelings. And if they are very high as for pole-vaulter you will not see the stick above and you run under without knowing you should do something. Or if you do try you cannot reach it because you don’t have the necessary pole.

So what is a healthy line? For everyone its different so don’t look around and instead start to feel what your body and feelings say to you. This way you can find your own truth. No one can tell you that.

What would you like to reach? In what time line is it possible to reach it? What do you need in order to get there? What do you need in order to get there? (Do you need to study? Do you need someone co-operation? Do you need money? How much time in the day does it take and do you have it?) How familiar is it to you? If you answer these questions you should have an idea how challenging it is for you. If just answering this simple questions makes you feel stressed and afraid your expectation is high, I don’t say give up, but it may be a good idea to make a lounges term time frame or ask for help. That can result in a more easy going feeling. The opposite is if you don’t feel any challenge or excitement it may be good to look at what else you can do to keep going in your life. If you don’t have a challenge you are stuck in the same place and sooner or later you may feel down.

How high are your expectations of yourself? And do you have some problems with them? If you are not far from Auckland we can discuss it over a coffee or a beer. I live in Auckland, Waiheke Island in New Zealand.


Let’s look at the bottom line of human existence, about something we can not get rid of. Today is the first day of the rest of our infinity. When we are united with love, love without judgment or conditions, there simply is not fear or guilt. We know there is nothing that we should worry about. It is our creation and our hearts strength and creativity of our minds. Being fearful does not mean being aware. It has been said that fear is essential for survival and prevents us to go in front of the car or jump into the lion’s cage. But fear and awareness is not the same. In fact, fear is often the cause of unpleasant events and there is no defence against them.
Fear is used to manipulate. Slogans such as “we must destroy them or they destroy us,” or “retaliate first.” War is a huge manifestation of fear. Love and trust are anti-war. If we remove fear, we remove the fear in the world. Removing the fear of world war and removing disharmony.
Fear is inextricably linked with lack of self-esteem and respect for oneself. And all three are the result of our vision of ourself from the outside. The reason why people are afraid to speak in public is fear. And the fear comes from when considering what others think about us. We are looking at the audience, whether what we are talking about is correctly received. Suppose a speaker moves into a room with family and friends. They will be fine. In front of an audience of strangers they are nervous and don’t have confidence. If you reconnect with our true nature, we begin to see and feel the conviction that we are O.K. No matter what people say about us and what they think. They have a right to think what they want – and we can do it well.
The only person who is suitable to think what is right for us, is ourselves. Of course, we need to get a lot of views and information, but when we are attuned to our intuitions of higher levels of us and nothing else, we know what is right for us to say and do. If you do it we realise we will never stand in front of an audience fearing what they think of us, because we accept their right to disagree with us. We know that what is real is what you think of yourself alone. The most effective form of suppression is the fear of difference, fear of another thinking, fear of another worldview.
Do not worry what people think about us, do not be intimidated and trust yourself and not others. It does not matter what others think about us. People constantly change their opinions and we strive to continually adapt to them. So we become clones of other views – partly programmed – instead, we were masters of their hearts, minds and destination. We don’t need to worry about that anymore.

We could talk this over a tea if you live in Auckland or somewhere near. Especially Waiheke Island is lovely part of New Zealand. And if you are from another part of the world we can meet on Skype.

What was your dream when you were a kid?

What type of dreams did you have when you were a child and what type of life do you live out now? If you had a dream and you are happily living it out right now, then congratulations! If you are living your dreams and yet you are unhappy then perhaps the dreams may simply be old dreams that need to be reassessed. Or, you may be someone who is right in the middle – you are in a place that feels good and in the process of building those more exciting dreams. Unfortunately, so many people in this world don’t live out their dreams at all.
I don’t recall my dreams from when I was a child. I choose to live my dreams that I have now as an adult. I feel it’s okay for our dreams to be constantly changing and for them to be a challenge to keep up with. It’s also good to look up to someone or involve a mentor in your dreams. However, it is very important to take only the qualities from a mentor that you feel suit you the best rather than copy their every step. When it comes to authentically living your dream, you should use a combination of confidence and fantasy. Every single person is naturally good at something in this world. This is where children come in. Children are open and they don’t question whether or not something is impossible in life. Children live in a “possible world” versus so many adults live in an “impossible world.”

It sometimes happens that people live somebody else’s dream. This so often happens with children as they are easily influenced by their parents. When a child is told that they should for example “Be a doctor, that is best” then they lose their own ability to question the direction they truly want to go in. They trust their parents and end up living their parents dreams instead of their own. This can also apply to an influential partner. Sometimes two people can be drawn to each other and one person can be more pushy than the other. So often the submissive person ends up living their partner’s dream rather than their own. A good approach is to always ask yourself questions: “Is this dream my own idea?” “Is this dream coming easily and falling into place for me?” or “Are things happening to me rather than me directing the flow of this dream?” It’s good to question yourself rather than simply doing what you have been told is the best for you.

What does it mean for you to live your dreams in life? For me it is constantly changing and that is totally fine. In this day and age it’s completely normal to have multiple careers and interests in your life. There are so many opportunities and possibilities out there you just need the confidence to explore and stamina to continue trying different things. If you are naturally attracted to something – just try it. The only failure is in not trying. Be open to changes and enjoy exploring the unknown.
Remember if change is radical and seems to be coming often, then you need to choose one dream and stick with it. You don’t want to get to the end of your life and have tried everything but not achieved a single thing.

How do you know when you are living your dream life? You know because life goes easily and you are having fun at the same time. Often people say “I can’t believe I’m getting paid to do this!” If you hear yourself saying this then you are living your dream. Even if sometimes you get obstacles within your dream, it’s actually much easier to sort them out because you can see the solution. You are living your natural authentic self and can figure things out more easily. If you are living your dream it’s no problem to push yourself beyond what you would do in regular life. You feel you can do more and do it well. Trust in your steps – they will lead you where you want to go.

If you would like to discuss dreams with an independant consultant who will not offend your intentions, we can meet and discuss it over a drink if you live near Auckland. I live on Waiheke Island beautiful part of New Zealand. And if you are farther we can make a voice or video call.