How To Finger A Woman And Make Her Come With Your Hands

#1 — The Best Fingering Techniques From Fingering Experts (and some go-to toys)

There are manual ways of fingering and a lot easier way with sex toys.

Toys help you become fingering master overnight and let you work way less while giving her a lot more pleasure.

It’s good to know the manual way, but you’ll quickly notice how numb your fingers get…and how hard the work gets.

Now my go to fingering toy is a rabbit vibrator…

It gets more results with less work.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. I review each product thoroughly and recommend only the very best.Vital: Vital: Don’t buy sexual wellness products on Amazon. You won’t get a warranty and chances are high you’ll get counterfeit product that is lower quality and from possibly toxic materials. Instead buy from original creators or from trusted sources we’ve identified.


1. It’s More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out

Remember, it’s what’s on the outside that counts. Specifically, we’re talking about the clit. One point echoed throughout the study was that the kind of “fingering” that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that’s how most women masturbate because it’s what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it’s kind of like rubbing your balls – pleasant, but not going to make you come.

Give her time

Aim to finger her for about 20 minutes, especially if she’s a new partner or has never had an orgasm with you. This gives her time to relax into the experience.

It’s great to want to give her an orgasm, but don’t pressure her to have one. She can still enjoy herself and feel a ton of pleasure without having an orgasm. You can get this point across to her by telling her, “I’m just going to keep going. You tell me whenever you want me to stop.” Most women need consistency to reach orgasm, so once you find something that seems to be working for her, stick with it.

More advanced fingering techniques

There really isn’t much room for improvement on the basic fingering techniques. But with some flexibility and coordination, she might like these:

1. Two hands

Some women enjoy being penetrated at the same time as they’re being manually stimulated.

Traditional penetration is probably going to be difficult. Finding a position and then coordinating your hand and your penis can be tough. So try using both hands instead.

Stimulate her clitoris with your dominant hand. Then reach around and stroke the entrance to her vagina with your other hand. You might find it easier if you put your hand under her leg, depending on your position.

If she responds well to this, you can try slipping a finger or two inside. For most women, the area around the entrance is particularly sensitive. So just stroking here, rather than actually entering her, might even be enough.

2. Fingering during oral

Many women enjoy the multiple sensations arising from a combination of a soft tongue and stronger fingers during oral sex.

In this scenario, you’re going to need slightly different techniques. Whilst your tongue is busy taking care of the clitoris, you can use your fingers to touch some of the other sensitive spots down there.

Try one or more of these ideas:

  • Slip one or two fingers inside and keep them still while you use your tongue.
  • Gently move them in an out.
  • Make a slow circling motion, as if trying to widen her entrance.
  • Slide well-lubricated fingers inside her, and bend them slightly so that you’re making a ‘come hither’ motion that can potentially stimulate her G spot.

These methods won’t be for all women, but give them a try and be ready to read her response carefully.

3. Fingering during penetration

Since many women can’t orgasm from penetration alone, adding manual clitoral stimulation can up her chances of climax.

Unfortunately, it can be tough to get the right position to accomplish this. But doggy style tends to work well, as does spooning.

Some women prefer to take care of the manual angle themselves during penetration, and if this is the case, don’t feel insulted.

It’s no comment on your skill – it’s simply easier if they do what they know works best. You can still use your hands to caress the rest of her body, and up her arousal even more.

4. Work your way in

So, now you know you need to slowly build up the intensity. But you also should be working your way from the outside in, towards the clitoris. It can help to conceptualise the clitoris as a sort of bullseye. You can being by stroking the outer edges of that target – the thighs and lower stomach, for example. This can all be done with your fingers – the sensation should be light and teasing, building up the anticipation.

If your partner is enjoying the process so far, you can move your caresses in closer, towards the pubic mound, labia and perineum. To spike your partner’s interest, you might even run a single finger over the clitoris. But don’t jump in yet – make those touches light and teasing.

Hopefully by this point your partner should be becoming more and more aroused. If that’s the case, you can start zoning in on the areas they are responding to the most, being sure to make your touch more rhythmic and consistent as you go. You can do this by perhaps rubbing a finger back and forth, or tracing a circle. As always, it’s good to listen: use your partner’s words and cues as your roadmap.

Get into position

I recommend sitting up with your back against the wall or headboard, with your legs outstretched or slightly bent. Have her lie between your legs, on her back, with her feet close to the wall or headboard. This position is fantastic because her vulva should be right in front of you, within arm’s reach. You can see what you’re doing, and give her focused stimulation. You can easily swap between hands, if one arm starts to get a little fatigued. You can also stay in this position for a long time.

6. Be a Tease

Approach the crotch area, but keep passing by it as if it’s invisible. One woman from the study likened this tactic to playing with a cat. If you reach right for it, it runs away. If you tease and don’t stroke it, it comes to you.

Another woman described a method she calls the “fake out.” To do it, you move your fingertip down your partner’s body from her neck to her breasts to her stomach, but instead of landing at her crotch, veer down her leg. Then, on the way back up, move your fingertip in another path that misses her crotch, too. These moves build anticipation and help awaken arousal. Many women love this kind of withholding and will eventually move their crotch toward your finger or tongue as it passes by — a good sign that the clit is ready to be touched. The more awake her body is, the more pleasurable it will be when you finally touch her clitoris.

What is the clitoris?

The clitoris is a central pleasure point for women. It is what is being stimulated in the act of fingering (which means you need to know about it if you want to learn how to finger her just right). Some people like to call the clitoris “the female penis”, in part because its sole purpose is to make her feel good.


Considering all the knowledge we gained, is fingering good for health? Yes, it is! It has tons of health benefits for your physical and mental health. It floods your body with endorphins which improve your mood. It helps you to sleep better and reduces stress. It enables you to avoid infections. Moreover, there are no side effects to fingering.

The Art Of Sexual Foreplay

Foreplay is important.

need her pussy to be wetYou’re going to need her pussy to be wet before you insert a finger, build her arousal up to its highest possible level before slipping a finger in.

Rub the outside of her pussy with her panties still on. Suck on her ear whilst you do it.

Slowly slip your hand under her panties – touch, tease, and escalate is the perfect formula. Two steps forward, one step back.

As her arousal builds and her pussy gets wet, now you can begin gently rubbing her clit from side to side. Now take one step back and kiss her body.

Tell her how sexy she looks – how wet her pussy feels, how turned on you are. Women love passion in the bedroom. The more passionate, confident, and enjoying the moment you are – the more this rubs off on her and she starts to feel the same way.

When you finger her – you must enjoy it.

At this point, you don’t want to feel rushed. The main reason women have trouble coming (having an orgasm) is that they feel rushed and under pressure. They feel like if they didn’t come they would disappoint you.

Giving a woman an orgasm takes time, lots of it. It’s like bringing a huge bowl of water to boil.

If the woman feels any pressure to have an orgasm, this will stop it from happening.

Myths and Misconceptions About Fingering

Firstly, there is a misconception that women do not self-pleasure. However, many women do, and it is quite normal. Most women start their self-pleasure journey by learning how to finger themselves.

Secondly, fingering yourself has nothing to do with your virginity. Many people believe fingering will break your hymen, making you lose your virgin status. However, it is possible to break your hymen through other activities such as strenuous exercise. The condition of your hymen has nothing to do with your virginity.

Thirdly, people may believe it is wrong to masturbate or finger yourself if you are in a relationship. However, there is nothing wrong with self-pleasuring. Have open conversations with your partner.

Internal Anatomy

Once you figured out how to rub the right parts by learning the parts of the vulva, you can now dive deep with the internal parts of your partner’s genitalia, particularly with around the vagina. Once you know the right spots, it will be easy to learn the best ways on how to finger a girl.

1 Vagina

It’s a tight and hollow tube that connects y

It’s a tight and hollow tube that connects your partner’s vulva with her cervix and uterus. It might be tight at first but this tube is very stretchy and expands when you feel aroused. The vagina also has the different spots that can make your partner squrim with pleasure.

2 G-Spot

You’ve probably heard this a lot of times, b

You’ve probably heard this a lot of times, but do you actually know where it is located? As seen in the diagram above, the G-spot is located about 2-3 inches inside the anterior wall of her vagina. It has subtle ridges that will be helpful when finding this spot. Just make sure you make her super horny first before rubbing this spot.

3 A-Spot

Looking for a deeper spot? Well, there’s the

Looking for a deeper spot? Well, there’s the A-spot. As you can see in the diagram above, it’s located on the anterior wall by the cervix. Also known as the ‘deep spot’, you can assure powerful vaginal orgasms when this spot is stimulated. However, it can be pretty hard to reach with your fingers. Investing in sex toys such as or long vibrators or dildos may help you reach this spot.

4 Cervix

As seen in the diagram above, this is located at t

As seen in the diagram above, this is located at the end of the vagina that divides your vagina and uterus. It’s very sensitive and may cause some pain when stimulated. However, some women find it pleasurable. That being said, communicate with your girl about this first before stimulating her cervix.

Your ideas

Do you have a technique or experience you can share? Or do you have any questions or thoughts about the ideas in the article?

Feel free to leave a comment below!

How to Finger Your Girl: Tips and Tricks

Now that you’ve learned the proper techniques, you might think that you’re already ready for some finger action but step back right there. Keep in mind these tips and tricks first. This will ensure a safe, fun and pleasurable experience for you and your girl.

1 Clean your hands

Having clean and sanitized hands will prevent your

Having clean and sanitized hands will prevent your partner from having infections.

2 Clean and smoothen your fingernails

Buddy, you’re supposed to make her squirm in

Buddy, you’re supposed to make her squirm in pleasure, not pain. Cut and file those long nails before the deed.

3 Have a water-based lube within reach

The vagina can produce lubricants when fully arous

The vagina can produce lubricants when fully aroused. However, there are times that the vagina can’t self-lubricate. With that, the lube is your bestfriend. Cover an ample amount of lube in your hand/fingers when fingering her.

4 Go slow

One of the best ways on how to finger a girl is by

One of the best ways on how to finger a girl is by starting it slow. Kiss her all over. Play with her boobs for a bit. Dry hump her. Tease her pussy for a bit. Make her crave for more.

5 Stimulate other parts of her body

While your one of your hands is busy fingering her

While your one of your hands is busy fingering her. You can also use the other hand to massage the other parts of her body such as her boobs or butt. You can also suck her nipples, lick her ear or passionately make out with her.

One of the biggest insecurities for women is the look of their pussy. Take some time to genuinely rave about it. This will make her less conscious of her pussy and focus on the pleasure instead.

Fingering 101: 16 Steps to Finger 

You know why fingering is important, but now the question is: do you know how to finger? Well, don’t worry, you’ve come to the right place. We’re going to teach you everything to need to know about fingering the right way.

1. Know the female anatomy

You don’t need to be a gynecologist, but you should be familiar with the female anatomy. This is truly the first and most crucial step you need to take before going near a vagina. How can you know what to do if you don’t know where everything is? There are four areas you’ll want to learn and pay close attention to:

  • Outer Labia: If you know about pubic hair, then you know about the outer labia. The two lips that are cover the vulva are the outer labia. There aren’t many nerve endings located in the outer labia; however, rubbing them with your hands and fingers can feel arousing. 
  • Inner Labia: So, you have the outer labia where the lips have pubic hair, but there’s also the inner labia. These sets of lips do not have pubic hair on them. The inner labia are made of susceptible and thin skin and can be stimulated by gently stroking them.
  • Vaginal Opening: If you’ve had sex before, the vaginal opening is where the penis is inserted. It’s located further back, closer to the anus. The vaginal opening is also where lubrication takes place. When a woman is aroused, she produces a natural lubricant that secrets from the vaginal opening. This area is where you’ll insert your fingers when fingering your partner.
  • Clitoris: This is one of the most sensitive parts of the female body and is designed only for pleasure. The clitoris is button-like and rests under the clitoral hood. The clitoral hood is formed by the two sides of the inner labia connecting. Now, if you’re not sure where that is, it’s best to look at a diagram or ask your partner.

2. Every woman is different

Before we start talking about how to finger, it’s important to understand that every woman is different. Each vagina has its own space, size, and smell. No two vaginas are the same. When it comes to fingering, you’ll need to adjust your techniques, speed, and pressure. 

It’s crucial to pay attention to your partner because everyone has their sexual preferences. So, if you have a technique that works on other women, don’t assume it’ll work on your partner. You’ll probably need to make adjustments.

3. Prepare ahead of time

Before fingering your partner, it’s vital to have clean, and well-manicured hands. Genitals are an extremely sensitive and delicate area. Your hands touch thousands of different things and are exposed to countless types of bacteria that could harm the vagina.

To avoid any injury or infection, make sure you trim your fingernails, and your hands are clean. Long fingernails can cut and scratch the vulva and that’s a painful experience.

If you’re a Spanish guitar player, you’re going to have a hard time fingering a woman.

4. Tease her

You can’t just go right into fingering your partner. If there’s one piece of advice to remember, it’s to start slowly. There’s no need to rush; you’ll get there eventually. To start, spend time in foreplay; making out, touching, caressing. 

And then slowly, work your way down to her legs. As you move down her body, rub against her crotch with either your thigh, pelvis, or hand. 

Don’t rush through this as foreplay is what warms up the body. It’ll take between fifteen to twenty minutes for her to become aroused, and during that time you should tease her. That’s the best part of foreplay, not getting what you want right away. You’ll feel the intensity gradually increase.

5. Use lubricant

If you spend enough time on foreplay and focus on pleasing arousing your partner, you probably won’t need lube to get started. The vagina will be lubricated enough. However, after some time, the vagina will dry out, and you’ll need to use artificial lube.

In general, you should always have lube in your nightstand; you never know when you’ll need it. Using lube will increase sensitivity and reduce discomfort. Silicone lubricant lasts long and feels smooth against the skin.

6. There’s a beginning, middle, and end

Think of fingering like reading a storybook. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. Fingering is not something that starts off as a bam! You need to start slowly and sensually. 

The average woman needs 15-20 minutes to become aroused, and intense fingering action right in the beginning isn’t going to do the trick. Start slowly, and focus on foreplay.

After some time, you can work your way down to the vagina, slowly rubbing and grinding against it. When you feel there’s enough sexual tension, then you can slip a finger underneath her underwear. From there, you can gradually increase your finger technique by sliding your fingers up and down, and in and out of the vulva, hitting the G-spot, and then going for the bullseye which is the clitoris.

7. Use your fingers

Well, what would fingering be without your fingers? Those little guys are the ones who make the magic happen. Fingering a vagina is exactly what it sounds like. After you slip a finger inside, you’ll need to move your finger in and out.

Start with your index finger, and then slip your middle finger in. Feel if it’s wet enough. If it feels a little dry, add lube. 

Play around with different speeds and rhythms until you find one which suits her. Start slowly and gradually increase speed.

8. Experiment with touch

When it comes to fingering the vagina, you’ll need to experiment with touch. Every woman is different, and touch is the best way to figure out which fingering action she likes. Women typically enjoy clitoral stimulation, penetration with your fingers, or doing both at the same time.

You can circle, stroke, or rub different parts of the vagina, including the inner/outer labia, and clitoris. Go up and down, side to side, use one or a couple of fingers. While experimenting ask her, “do you like it better when I do this?”

9. Find the G-spot

Once you start fingering her vagina, it’s time to find her G-spot. With your index and middle finger, make a “come here” motion. The G-spot is 2-3 deep and upwards. You’ll feel a rough patch of skin inside the vagina – that’s it. 

Once you feel it, start slowly and build the thrusting up. After thrusting for a while, you can mix up your fingering technique and work your way up to the clitoris.

10. Hit the bullseye: The clitoris

If you want to blow her mind, then you need to focus on clitoral stimulation. When it comes to sex, the clitoris is your golden egg; it’s the answer to orgasms. Once you have her going, and you can see she’s highly aroused, then it’s time you have her clit some much-needed attention. 

Most women need repetitive clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; spot stimulation is key. So, find a rhythm that she enjoys and don’t change it when you see her starting to reach orgasm.

11. Find the rhythm

You can slip a finger or two inside of her and move it in and out, but if you don’t find the right rhythm, nothing is going to happen. Focus on finding a rhythm that gets them excited. If your partner is enjoying what you’re doing, don’t switch it up. Rhythmic stimulation is the key to reach orgasm. 

If you find the right speed and pressure for your partner, keep it going. The fingering technique could be two fingers, four fingers – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that whatever you’re doing is working.

12. Don’t be shy to let her show you

There may be a moment where she stops you and touches herself in front of you. This is a great opportunity for you to pay attention and see what she’s doing. She’s showing you what she likes and how she likes it. 

Watch the movements she’s making and mimic them; her body language will guide you. She knows her vagina better than anyone else.

13. Let her tell you when to stop

This is a common issue when it comes to fingering. Men tend to stop when they feel it’s enough, but, in reality, it takes around 20 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm. Rather than stopping when you feel it’s over, wait for her to tell you when she’s done.

Focus on her body language; she’ll let you know she’s had enough. If your hand is getting sore, trying switching hands or performing oral sex. If you want her to orgasm, don’t pressure her. Let her orgasm when she’s ready.

14. Pay attention to her reaction

As you’re fingering your partner, you’ll notice her behavior change. As she becomes aroused, it’s crucial you pay attention to the sounds and directions they make. If you change the technique and notice her getting quiet, then stop and try something else. 

If she’s moaning, shaking, and breathing deeply, you’re on the right track. You need to listen to your partner and learn their body language; once you crack this, the world is your oyster.

15. Keep communication open

Please remember this sex tip: without communication, you won’t have good sex. It’s just that simple. Communication is everything when it comes to sex. You’re not having sex with yourself. 

This is with someone with entirely different emotions, preferences, and feelings. Ask your partner what they liked, and what they didn’t like. Don’t take it personally; this is your opportunity to improve.

16. Enjoy the experience

This is an important sex tip. If you want your partner to have fun when you’re fingering her, you’re going to need to relax. There’s nothing worse than watching your partner stress out during intimacy. 

If you’re not experienced with fingering, don’t worry. It takes time and practice until you have a pace and technique that suits you and your partner.

Now you know what to do, but it’s also good to know what you need to avoid. Here are six common fingering mistakes you should avoid making.

Some final thoughts

Being able to confidently please a woman by fingering her is a wonderful thing for a couple of reasons. First, many women do not reach orgasm as often as men, so finding an alternative that puts you in the position of “giver” rather than always “receiver” of sexual pleasure is important for the sake of your long-term sexual relationship. Second, your female lover or partner is likely to have some experience fingering herself from masturbation, and she can be a helpful guide to you as you get to know her body in this new way. And finally, knowing how to finger a woman is just an orgasmic gift to be able to offer her once and a while. (Bonus: it allows you guys to explore realms of pleasure without having to worry about sharing sexually transmitted diseases). With these tips as your guide, you should be able to move forward in confidence, excited and curious to explore the many ways you can pleasure a woman with your hands.